Well, take it from someone who’s done their share of online dating – it’s going to get messy. Sometimes you’ll feel like your dates are like episodes of a bad sitcom. Sometimes you’ll get frustrated and want to give up… But, in the end, you’ll realize it’s all worth it, and that the good far outweighs the bad.
After all, all good things require some wanting-to-pull-out-your-hair-and-scream-WHYMEEEEE moments. But once you reach your goal, you’ll laugh at those moments and realize they were just part of your journey and are now fun stories to tell your friends or kids.
Let’s go over some things you can expect from your online dating experience, so you’ll go into this with realistic expectations. We’ll start with the bad, since we know that when things are good they can be oh so good – and the good is our end goal.
If you go into this thinking that everything will be sunshine and lollipops, you’re in for an unwelcoming surprise. Better that you know all kinds of instances that may come up, so you won’t be disappointed.
The overwhelming feeling
Some days you’ll get so many messages, that it will give you a headache trying to determine who you should write back to and who you don’t want to give a chance to. Some days you’ll get barely any messages, and you’ll wonder what happened and why guys aren’t interested in you.
The blasé attitude
Some guys will be so jaded that they’ll go into the date with an obvious “I’m-just-on-this-date-because-I-don’t-want-to-die-alone-but-I’ve-actually-given-up-all-hope” attitude. That doesn’t make for a fun date, to put it lightly, or let you give it an actual chance to see if something real is there. Sometimes you might lose hope too and feel like nothing is working out, but you have to keep your head up so you don’t miss the opportunity for something great. That’s easier said than done, however.
Sometimes you’ll get really excited about a guy. He wrote an awesome profile full of quirky observations about life, and there’s something about him that just feels so YOU. You chat on the phone, and, as you suspected, he’s hilarious. You feel that you can talk to him about anything… And then he says something that makes you realize that he’s only looking for a hook-up and a serious relationship is so far from his current mindset.
The “it’s no use” effect
Sometimes you feel like there are millions of guys at your fingertips, yet when you look closely, not one of them seems to suit you. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re seeing the same “matches” over and over again. You know that you only need ONE guy… but it still takes effort to find the needle in the haystack. The worst is when you finally find a great guy and he writes back “you seem like a nice girl, but I just started dating someone.” Well then what is he doing reading messages on a dating site?? You know you shouldn’t give up, though – after all, you have so many friends who found their husbands or live-in-boyfriends on Zoosk. There’s no reason why it won’t work out for you too. Right?
Sometimes it’s going to get ugly. But just remember that you’ll end up laughing, even at the most ugly, later, if not while it’s happening.
Sometimes you’ll feel like you had a perfect date, and you even had the sweetest kiss at the end of the night. And then they don’t call. They might write you an SMS full of clichés that says something like “I had a nice time last night and you seem like an awesome girl, but I just don’t think that we’re a match.” Well then he probably shouldn’t have kissed you, IMHO. Sometimes you’ll actually have gone on a few dates with someone, and then they’ll go from “looking forward to seeing you this weekend” to dropping off the face of the planet and totally ghosting you.
There’s no way around it – you will get cancelled on sometimes. Since it’s so easy to meet people online, the guys you’re talking to may be talking to other girls simultaneously. You may find yourself getting all glammed up for your date, and then last minute they’ll write you a lame message that says they went on a date last night and they want to give it a shot.
You’ve been dating this guy for about a month and a half… When you see his phone light up with an unmistakable notification from the dating site you met on. You ask him about it, and that’s when you realize that you’re not exclusive, like you had thought you were.
When the good is good, it’s AMAZING. You’ll put up with the bad and the ugly to find what you’re looking for. Which you can. People wouldn’t keep dating online if they weren’t able to form relationships that way.
It’s fun getting dressed up for that first date that you’ve been looking forward to. You could already feel your chemistry on the phone. When you meet in person and look into each other’s eyes, you experience that spark, and you just know he feels it too. That perfect kiss at the end of the night shows you that you were not mistaken.
It’s easy to meet people online. You’ll have much more exposure to a great selection of guys. When you try meeting guys at bars, you usually end up meeting sleazeballs. Online dating gives you the opportunity to choose from a much larger pool of guys who you probably wouldn’t get to meet otherwise. Not only that, but you can sort through and find the traits that suit you. Instead of wasting your time going out with someone and only then finding out his red flags, in online dating the red flags are revealed right away. They may be written clearly on his profile, and if not, you can easily ask them straightforward questions in your first message that may be awkward to ask in person. That way, you’ll know which guys have real boyfriend potential before you even agree to go out with them.
You get to search for what you want, and you can initiate much more than you would in person. If you came up to a stranger in person and began talking to him, he might view you as desperate or even slutty. Even though you know you’re not, he could get that impression from you. When you approach a guy online, however, it’s totally normal. It shows that you did your research and see potential. Feel free to be bold and go for it when you see fit – the worst that could happen is you don’t get messaged back.
The free drinks and meals
No matter who you’re with, let’s face it – getting constantly wined and dined is not too shabby!
The fun activities
You’ll find yourself doing things you’ve never done before or would not normally do with a friend. Guys will be trying to impress you and they’ll think of original dates. Whether the guy you’re with ends up being your future husband or not, at least you got a great date out of it!
The confidence boost
It’s a pretty nice feeling to be pursued. I don’t know about you, but I never tire of being told I’m beautiful. The best is when you get told that from a guy you think is pretty great, too. Seeing all this interest in you gives you confidence and motivation to go after your goal of finding Mr. Right.
Finding the right guy
You’ve done it. You’ve gone through the good, the bad and the ugly, on this rollercoaster path which has led you to The One. And it was completely and utterly worth it.
Find the one online. Check out the top dating sites in the UK.