Online Dating Messages: Dos and Don’ts

Alexa Weeks

Dec 22 2023

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You’ve registered to a dating site and built an awesome profile. So, what’s next? Start browsing the profiles and try to get in touch with interesting people!

But before you do that, read the tips below to learn all about the dos and don’ts of online dating messages to boost your success rate and help you avoid fatal mistakes:


As with many other things, personalisation is the best approach here. Take the time to go over the profile, and make sure your message shows you’ve read it. Don’t just copy paste your online dating messages! This kind of approach might generate a few replies, but it will not take you too far. We all want to feel special. Being just another one in the crowd is not a pleasant feeling, and this is certainly not the idea you want to convey if you hope to have success.

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Say why

We all like to be the subject of admiration at one point or another. Let the person you’re chatting to know which element of their profile caught your eye. Whether you found that you share some common interest, or you were charmed by the color of their eyes, use it as an ice-breaker to start a meaningful conversation.

Focus on common interests

When people list a certain hobby or a specific show in their profile, they most certainly like to talk about it. If you are knowledgeable in that area too, here comes your source of inspiration!

Avoid pointless questions

The regular “how are you?” question seems innocent, but it is not a real conversation starter. Show that you read the profile, and think long-term when choosing questions for those initial online dating messages. The best is to find a topic that might strike a longer conversation.

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Keep it short and simple

Maybe you fell in love from the very first moment you set eyes on their picture, but you don’t have to reveal that, at least not just yet. Keep your first message short and casual. Don’t talk about marriage and kids. The subject of your affections might just freak out and hit the ignore button.

Avoid corny messages

As witty as you think you sound, avoid making cheesy jokes and risqué pick-up lines. The chance your message will be ignored skyrockets when you invite a woman looking for a long-term relationship to cuddle in bed with you tonight. If it’s an easy hook-up site, go for it, but otherwise, keep it clean while you’re getting to know one another.

Be positive

Maybe you feel lonely and sad. Maybe you’ve been single for a long time or dealt with many hardships in your life. No matter how desperate your situation, this is not the time to lay all your cards on the table. There will be plenty of time for life stories later.

Ready to start crafting your first message? Find out which are the best dating sites, register and get in touch with potential soulmates today!

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