The whole goal of dating online is to date offline. You should just be able to write a girl and say, “Hey, want to grab a pint?” Right? Wrong! With so much competition and a seemingly secret girl code that you just can’t seem to crack, getting to face-to-face dates isn’t as straightforward as you’d imagine it to be.
Well guys, you’re in luck. Today, I’m going to tell you the 10 best tips to online dating from a girl’s perspective. Let’s dive right in. In a typical weekend, I usually I have one dating window available. Often, it’s a Friday night and I don’t want to waste it on a guy who’s going to be boring, creepy, or both. So begins the vetting process.
Online I find that there are 3 kinds of men in terms of their approach:
- Guy A whose first message and direct opener is, “Hey, I like pizza, too. Want to get some Friday night?”
- Guy B who asked a few generic questions, has done nothing to stand out from the rest, and now our conversation is slowly dying.
- Guy C who I’ve been flirting with for a few days, has maintained playful banter, who has opened up a bit about his week, and has even got me checking my phone to see if he’s messaged me back.
Let’s dissect these approaches to see where they’re going wrong and where they’re scoring major points…
- Guy A doesn’t seem desperate, but by asking me out straightaway, I assume that he’d ask anyone out and could possibly be a serial dater. Plus, he hasn’t done anything to rouse my curiosity enough to secure that Friday night spot.
- Guy B seems nice enough but hasn’t made the effort to spark a connection. This means that the mere glimmer of someone more interesting would make me forget all about Guy B. I might go out with Guy B if I had no other options, but I’d probably prefer to stay home.
- Guy C is the one who I can’t wait to see in person. The flirtatious tension is there, I’m flattered that he’s put in the effort, and most importantly, I’ve begun to feel comfortable talking to this guy.
It’s a no-brainer! Guy C gets that date.
So what exactly does Guy C do so right that his weekend calendar is booked up with dates with pretty girls? Keep reading to find out.
1. Don’t Be Generic
You like pizza, have a dog, and watch Game of Thrones? That’s cool but so does every other online dater out there. What makes you special? Write down 5 things that make you different and slowly bring them up in conversation.
2. Get a Bit Silly
You can’t hear each other, touch each other, or read each other’s body language – so you need to find another way to physically affect the woman on the other end. The key here is laughter. Make the other person laugh with corny replies, the unexpectedly weird answer, and ask playful questions.
3. Make It Personal
“Do you have a close relationship with your mother?” is not an opening line that any man should try. But if the opportunity arises to ask a personal question, then go ahead. Getting her to open up a little to you will not only make her feel closer to you, but will give her the sense that an in-person conversation would be worth her time.
4. Open Up
Just as you ask her personal questions, don’t be afraid to share a personal bit about yourself or your day. Was your boss really on your case today? Did your niece turn 5 over the weekend? Show her that you’re human and not just some robot capable of texting witty comments.
5. Ask Open-Ended Questions and Answers
“That’s cool.” and “Do you like to go bowling?” are conversation killers! You need to keep paving the path towards the next question in order to grow a connection. Make sure there is room for her to respond to any question you ask or answer you give.
6. Go Easy on the Emojis
Studies show that online chatterers actually communicate more effectively with the use of emojis. Since you don’t yet have each other’s senses of humour down and dry humour doesn’t always translate well online, don’t be afraid to use an emoji to back up your tone. A big no-no, however, is speaking solely in emojis. Don’t ever substitute a word with a symbol – we’re not 12.
7. Use Proper Grammar
There is nothing less sexy than a man who writes sentences like “C u soon” or “ya i c wut u sayin”. When you’re speaking in person, use all the slang you want; but when you’re trying to woo an intelligent woman via text, use full sentences, capitalize, and show that you have a bit of intellect.
Girls love a good compliment, but we know when it is and when it isn’t sincere. Find things you like about her and tell her. If you think she’s naturally beautiful, then speak up. If you think the colour blue looks really nice on her, say so. If she is funny as hell, let her know. You’ll score some major points.
9. Wait a Few Days Before Asking Her Out
Don’t be so eager to ask her out right away. Putting her on the spot too soon might make her feel uncomfortable. You can earn her trust, respect, and time by spending a day or two chatting. If you want to make sure that you’re not wasting your time, be upfront with a spirited proposal! On a Wednesday, say “hey, if I haven’t scared you away by Friday, I’d like to take you out.” No pressure on her end and this gives you two the time to get excited.
10. Learn How to Play Chess
I’m not kidding. Chess is the ultimate metaphor for dating. You need to know which tactics to play when, you need to anticipate her reactions to your actions, and you need to always be thinking two steps ahead. Chess helps you look at the playing field in a much more strategic manner that translates directly to the dating platform. Plus, then you’ll know how to play chess and that’s super sexy.
The rules of online dating follow a whole new code separate from chatting in person. Face-to-face, you have that girl’s full attention, but when online you must recognize that this pretty girl has 10 dudes writing to her at the same time, and she is comparing all of you to each other.
This whole charade may sound exhausting, but it gets easier once you get on board with this 3-day approach. Choose a few girls, have fun flirting with them, and see which online relationship develops by the weekend. You’ll find that not only will you land more dates, but they’ll be dates that you’re actually excited to go on.
This article is part one of two. Check back next week for part two, where you will learn how to master the dating game when you take your dating offline! For more articles on dating, check out Top 5 Dating’s article section.