As online dating becomes increasingly commonplace traditional forms of socializing as a way to meet a partner has become less important.

However, there are still people who have faith in meeting a potential partner in a bar or in a club. If you tried to find someone in such a place, you know that it has its downsides. To help you decide which way is preferable here are a few comparison points for you to consider:

 

Same purpose

This is the obvious one. Big surprise, not everyone at your local bar is looking for a serious relationship, or even wants to talk to strangers. She might be there for a girl’s night out; he might be there with his friends to blow off steam after work. On the flipside, it’s also likely that you’ll be perceived as someone who isn’t looking for something serious. When you join an online dating site, it’s much easier to be explicit about what you’re looking for, and to know whether others are looking for the same thing as you.

 

Making Contact

It’s a lot easier to send someone a message on a site than it is to approach someone in real life, even if you think that they’re looking for the same thing as you. The risk of rejection is always higher and the humiliation more painful in person.

 

Rejection

If a stranger creeps on you in a bar or a club it is a lot harder to reject them. Even if you have friends backing you up, it’s much more uncomfortable, even intimidating, to reject someone in person then it is in a message. When you’re online you not only have the benefit of distance but you can easily deal with a persistent unwanted suitor by blocking or reporting them.

 

Selection

Even if you go to the biggest club, there are only so many people who you can meet in one night that are single and interested in a relationship. And how many people will you talk to or even look at in one night in one place? In online dating, in the same few hours you can go over a serious amount of profiles, and send messages to as many people as you like.

 

Alcohol

It can be your friend or your enemy. But in a bar or a club, after a few drinks you might make a serious error of judgment and accept invitations, or give your phone number to people who you wouldn’t normally give a second glance. It’s a lot less likely that you will send a message to a person on a dating site while you’re drunk.

 

Appearance

We all know that some online profile pictures have only a tenuous relationship to reality. But dim club lighting and a few drinks can also change a person’s appearance as much as Photoshop can. Also, people still tend to put more natural-looking pictures on online dating sites.

 

Previous Information

When you look at a person’s online dating profile you get a lot of information. Some of that information includes deal-breakers: he’s not Christian, she smokes, he has cats and you’re allergic. Such information will stop you from sending someone a message or ignore an income message. In real life it takes time until you get this information. Usually in a bar you would just make small-talk and only later discover this information.

 

Convenient

It’s simply a lot easier to sit at home on your computer or phone, look at profiles, send messages and even chat with people. Going to a bar or a club once a week or more can be a serious drain on your money and energy. Don’t get me wrong. It can certainly be a lot of fun. But if your main goal is to meet someone to start a serious relationship it’s not the wisest investment.

 

Finding a partner or even just a date can be hard work. People still want to meet a partner in person first, but that is becoming harder and harder. Bars and clubs sound like good options but these aren’t the best places to search for a partner. Online dating is a tool that will save you time, money, embarrassment, and unnecessary hassle. That’s not to say they can’t be fun too!

Emma Walters
Emma is an arts and science student graduating this year from NYU. She loves New York City and writes about her big city single-hood experiences. “Being single in the Big Apple is more of a task than a status”, she says, “Dating sites are great for socializing, especially if you’re new in town”. Emma is a regular contributor to the Top 5 Dating blog.
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  • david

    hi looking for that special person to spend happy times with go out stay in couddle up an watch films an hopfully more

    Reply