Online dating and rejection – sadly these two things often go together. That doesn’t mean that you have to give up the idea of online dating altogether. Not at all! It just means you have to learn how to turn what can be a painful experience into something more positive.

Here are some tips that will help you overcome online dating rejection:

Don’t take it personally

You might think it’s personal, but it’s actually not. You haven’t even met in person. You may have been under the impression that you have hit it off while chatting online the other night, but that doesn’t mean they know you well enough to form a meaningful opinion of you. So, until you really get to know the other, rejection is not really personal. There can be a billion explanations that have nothing to do with who you are or what you look like.

Keep your feet on the ground

We know it can be hard to do keep your feet on the ground when you feel the butterflies in your stomach. Try however to remain rational and think things through: don’t invest too much in a person you have never laid eyes on. There is plenty of time for losing touch with reality when and if your relationship actually develops into something real and you are going in the right direction.

There might be someone else

You had a great time chatting online, but this doesn’t exclude the possibility that a boyfriend, girlfriend, or even spouse exists. Not everybody is honest in the online dating world – just like in the real world. The only difference is that online dating allows anonymity, and makes it easier for people to say they’re single when they are actually married with kids or involved in a committed relationship.

Take some responsibility for it

It’s easy to convince yourself that the handsome guy who rejected you is a total jerk or that beautiful woman is just another gold digger. This is actually the case most of the time. However, there are cases when we’re at fault. Admitting your own mistakes is always difficult, but it’s a step you have to take if you want to learn something from your experience. Try to understand if there is something you did wrong, so that you don’t repeat the same mistake next time. Maybe your message was too general? Or, too direct? Maybe you revealed too much from the first chat? Did you show enough interest? Did it take you too long to respond?

Remember it happens to all of us

That’s true! It has happened, keeps happening, and will happen to everyone who has tried online dating, or any kind of dating for that matter. Rejection happens all the time.
There are women who only date tall guys, men who fancy blondes. A strong woman might seem appealing to some, but she might also scare off those who don’t feel able to keep up with her. A handsome and successful guy may be like a dream come true for some women, but there are also those who might perceive him as too uptight, snobbish or even standoffish. The point is people tend to think in categories and patterns, and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you don’t fit into the right category, you might very well get rejected.

Move on and relax

Always remember: rejection is a part of life! Most of us have felt its bitter taste. So, relax and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Your soulmate is out there, waiting for you. If you’re taking it seriously, online dating can require an investment of your time and emotions. But the good news is that the results often prove to be worth it.

Emma Walters
Emma is an arts and science student graduating this year from NYU. She loves New York City and writes about her big city single-hood experiences. “Being single in the Big Apple is more of a task than a status”, she says, “Dating sites are great for socializing, especially if you’re new in town”. Emma is a regular contributor to the Top 5 Dating blog.
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  • disapointed

    well I think on line dating is a waste of time for older women I have tried to find my soul mate for 5 years now and I would say I am not bad for my age but and I find the older you get the harder it is , I have had three dates in all those years one guy even tried to get me into bed on the second date but when I said no he did not contact me again , then there are the scammers looking for a rich old lady I think I have had more scammers that genuine men ,,are there really older guys out there looking for a soul mate I ask myself,

    • Emma


      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve feel disappointed by your online dating experience. Alas, there isn’t any magic formula to finding a soulmate (if you discover one, please let me know). The best advice I can give is to keep a positive outlook, and make sure you’re looking in the right places. A reputable site focused on long-term relationships, like eHarmony, might be a good option if you haven’t tried it. Otherwise, we highly recommend JustSeniorSingles, a website designed for mature daters. One of the best things about it is that every profile is checked and approved. You can find out more by clicking here.

      Good luck!