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What Women Really Think About on a First Date

Updated: December 9, 2015
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Written by

Alexa Weeks

Dating can be stressful, especially in the beginning. Just getting to know each other involves a lot of baby steps and sometimes a few missteps before you learn to read your beau. Luckily, women don’t have to be all that mysterious if you can learn how to read a few cues. Here is how to know what women are really thinking about on a first date.

What the heck do I say to this guy?

You might be with a gabber or sally tight-lips but both are probably thinking the same thing: what the heck do I say to this guy? Finding conversation topics for a first date is never easy. So, when she’s silent, the explanation might be very simple: she doesn’t know what to say.

What you can do about it? Come to the date prepared with a few ideas of what to talk about. Ask her questions, but also offer information about yourself. This will set the wheels in motion. Remember, women prefer dating someone open and somewhat talkative. That’ll drive them to return the favour and open up, and not feel like they’re on a date with a statue.

first date

Overthinking the little things

A lot goes into a woman’s preparations for a date and the process alone can be empowering or disastrous.

A more casual date might mean casual attire - unless she’s trying to stand out, but then, if you wind up at a bar, she doesn’t want to look out of place or stuffy.

A compliment early on in the evening can go a long way to put your date at ease and give her a boost of confidence. That will let her focus on you rather than how she looks compared to everybody else.

Does he like me? Do I like him?

Traditional courtship might not be dead but it’s becoming rare. Roles are no longer as defined as they once were and that means ladies are often up to bat. Except that a lot of us have no idea what we’re doing.

There’s something to be said for the difference between a casual hook-up and an actual long-term sort of first date, not to mention everything in between. While it’s awesome that we’re moving towards a society where men and women are equally expected to pursue each other, the sort of traditional relationship rituals still generally fall on men.

We haven’t quite come up with the rules for ladies yet and so if she seems a little nervous, it could be because she has no idea if she’s being appropriate. Should she be aggressive, demure or maybe a healthy mixture of both? Are you traditional or progressive? Will you respond to a girl who makes the first move or will you be put off by a woman who seems too eager?

There’s a lot to calculate when dating and there’s a lot to think about while waiting for the appetizers to show up, or during a lull in conversation as you walk to the theatre. Your date is just as nervous as you are and just as worried about how the night will go. One thing is sure: guessing what goes through a woman’s mind is never easy!

The Top 5 team tests dozens of online dating sites to bring you rankings of the very best sites on the internet. Whatever you’re looking for, you’ll find it in our constantly-updated rankings list.

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Alexa Weeks

Alexa is a writer, traveler, and self-proclaimed online dating expert from Seattle. From making mistakes, to falling in love, she’s experienced it all. Alexa is here to give you all the tips, insight, and advice you'll ever need in the world of dating and romance.