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How to Turn From Pickup Artist into Boyfriend

Updated: June 30, 2016
AW

Written by

Alexa Weeks

So, you’ve perfected your “moves.” Your persistence and years of studying the opposite sex have given you the tools you need to make just about anything in a skirt yours, at the snap of your fingers. Girls come and go like Britain in the EU.

Congratulations!

But, let’s be honest for a minute. Last Christmas you showed up to Aunt Jemima’s with your famous cranberry sauce and your confident (if somewhat cocky) smile… and notably without a girl on your arm.

This normally wouldn’t have bothered you, since you knew, as always, you would find your latest bird in the pub after dinner. But this year you found yourself feeling uneasy. Maybe it was little cousin Jeremy bragging about his girlfriend of one year – I mean, the kid has a few strands of peach fuzz that he tries to pull off as a moustache, for god’s sake.

Or maybe it was your Granny’s predictable question “So, do you have any news for us?” which, just once, you would have liked to respond to with the answer you know would light up her face.

In any case, admit it: It’s time to get serious.

But don’t worry – you’re not starting from scratch. The skills you’ve mastered as pickup artist will come to good use in your new search for a girlfriend.

You just have to use the skills you’re already a pro at.

The Persistence

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For you, “no” has never been an option. You fight for what you want until you get that “yes.” This is an extremely valuable quality which you’ll find useful when trying to show that you’re boyfriend material.

Quit hanging out at bars to find girls – try online dating. Your persistence will pay off and put you ahead of the game, for sure. Online dating should be treated as a job search. You wouldn’t settle for a job that doesn’t suit you or give up your job search and resign yourself to remaining unemployed. Likewise, you should not settle for a woman who doesn’t seem to be a match or give up when it takes you a while to find exactly what you’re looking for.

When you come across a girl you’d like to message on eHarmony or Zoosk, you won’t be put off when she doesn’t immediately reply. Give her a chance to reply and if she doesn’t after a few days, write to her again, with something that shows you really connected to her profile. Girls generally get so many messages each day, that they become overwhelmed and may overlook your message. Don’t let them get away just yet – show them that you think they seem special and that you’re not just any guy.

The Pickup Lines

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You’ve gone from cheesy lines like “Did it hurt… when you fell from heaven?” to classy conversation starters which give the impression of being unique to your specific target (I mean, girl). You know which openers will get you an eye roll and which will get you a smile.

How does that help you with your future girlfriend? Knowing how to pick a girl up means you always know what to say.

Saying the right thing goes a long way in relationships, and girls will appreciate that about you. It means that you notice the little things about them as well as their needs. First dates won’t be filled with awkward silences, or worse, random things spewing out of your mouth for lack of something normal to say. Your date will notice that you’re listening to her and that you’re able to give thoughtful responses. This will also help you get replies on dating sites. You’ll write your prospective girlfriend something that will make you stand out among the crowd.

The Confidence

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Your confidence has clearly helped in getting you continuous one-night stands. There’s no need to become self-conscious now that your goal has changed. You’re still dealing with the same field the only difference is that now feelings and some vulnerability will be added to the mix. Your combination of confidence and vulnerability will be irresistible to girls you’re interested in. Women find confidence very sexy in a man, whether they’re looking for a fling or for something more real.

The Pickiness

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When you go to bars, you don’t just start flirting with the first girl you see, do you? You choose wisely, by how attractive the particular girl is and how much chemistry the two of you have. You know what you want, and you go after it.

The same goes for long-term relationships – it’s good to know what you want. This will help you filter out what’s not right for you. You’ll know which set-ups from your friends to turn down, and you’ll know who to search for on your favorite dating site.

You won’t waste time and emotions on a relationship that has no chance of turning out well. Rather, you’ll focus on the right girls who have true girlfriend-material, one of whom could very possibly be THE ONE.

The Creativity

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Being a true pickup artist comes with a lot of underestimated creativity. You often have to think outside the box for ways to meet women and to get them to go home with you. Your originality is to your advantage with potential relationships as well as flings.

Put that talent to good use and play with your imagination to help you with the girl you could see yourself falling in love with. You’ll impress her with the creative dates you come up with. Once you’re a couple, it’ll be no problem for you to think of extra special ways to surprise her on her birthday or Valentine’s Day.

So now you know you have what it takes to become a boyfriend. Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and find your match! Check out the top dating sites here.

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Alexa Weeks

Alexa is a writer, traveler, and self-proclaimed online dating expert from Seattle. From making mistakes, to falling in love, she’s experienced it all. Alexa is here to give you all the tips, insight, and advice you'll ever need in the world of dating and romance.