Sexting can be fun and bring couples closer together, but sometimes one person can get out of line and harm the relationship. Here are the do’s and don’ts of sexting, to help you avoid the confusion.

Don’t sext too soon. The sooner you start, the less serious you seem. Some people prefer not to sext before they have sex first. It’s hard to know when it’s the right time to start sexting, so make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.

Do be a tease. Sexting can be a great form of foreplay, and sexy words can be no less sexy then pictures. You can start your texts with low intensity and build it up to create anticipation.

Don’t write really long messages. Sexting is not the same as writing a love letter. Keep it short and sweet.

Do be imaginative. Whether it’s in pictures or in words, originality makes sexting less predictable and more fun.

Don’t send a revealing picture that identifies you. No pictures that include your face, birth marks or tattoos. We know that you want to trust the person you’re with, but revenge porn does exist, so be careful. If you want to avoid nudity or sexy pictures, don’t forget that suggestive pictures can also be sexy.

Do sext only at appropriate times. If he’s with his family or if she’s at work, it might not be the best time to sext. Being caught might be embarrassing.

Don’t sext while you’re drunk. Things that sound witty, sexy or teasing when you’re drunk might just end up sounding silly or insulting the next day.

Do follow your feelings. If you don’t feel comfortable sending a certain type of picture, then don’t.

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