Women can be complicated beings at times, yes it’s true. But ultimately we’re simple creatures who are just looking for a nice guy with whom have decent conversation, a few laughs, and who will potentially sweep us off our feet like a Disney movie circa 1991.
If you can relax, have fun, and make a girl feel special, then that intimate connection will come naturally without you even really trying. Consider these 13 dating tips for men as your playbook, where you can reference the best dating advice before each and every date to calm your nerves and put you in the right state of mind to have a great date.
1. Turn off your phone
This could be one of most relevant tips to dating today. You need to make her feel like there is nothing and no one more important in the entire world than her right here, right now. And it can be done simply by leaving your phone in your pocket, turned off. When you pick up your phone during your date, it signals to her that you’re more interested in what your Facebook friends ate for lunch rather than what’s on her mind. The outcome? She walks away feeling undervalued and will forever associate those feelings with you.
2. Don’t talk about your ex-girlfriends or past relationships
Later down the line, it can be constructive to delicately share things about your past relationships, what you learned from them, and what you’d like to do better in the future as it relates to your present relationship. But save that conversation for when monogamy is on the table rather than brining it up in your first several dates.
3. Plan unique, fun dates
Studies show that when couples engage in new activities together, their bond is strengthened and their relationship has a better chance of survival. Get outside your comfort zone together by taking a cooking class or going on a road trip. In unfamiliar situations, you’ll find that you lean on each other for support while learning about each other’s little quirks at warp speed. When the experience is over, you’ll both have a feeling of mutual accomplishment for conquering something novel together.
4. Don’t try too hard
I am who I am and you are who you are. And that’s enough. If you want to find your perfect match, then you have to be your genuine self. Trying to impress her or trying to uphold the image of the man you think you should be is going to attract the wrong kind of girl for you. This might lead to a relationship, but one that is built on a false foundation, and false foundations never last.
5. Try her hobbies
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never had the urge to learn how to play tennis- that’s not the point! The point is to show interest and display effort towards learning what makes her tick. You don’t have to become a tennis professional or even reach her level of skill, just put in the energy. Worst-case scenario, you’re terrible at tennis but keep trying with a smile, which she’ll find extremely endearing; and best-case scenario, you discover a new activity that you love.
6. Invite her to try your hobbies
Nerdy or sporty, it doesn’t matter what hobby of yours you decide to share with your new partner. Revealing your multifaceted personality will only make her more attracted to you. Sit her down for an afternoon of playing Magic Cards in the park or take her rock climbing and encourage the hell out of her. Seize the opportunity to take charge and you’ll sweep her off her feet. You might even realize you have something in common!
7. Don’t do all the talking
A date isn’t an audition; it’s a chance to test your chemistry with another person. You need to mix her elements with yours and see how they react. While it’s important to share your thoughts, it’s just as important to let her share hers. Try to maintain that balance between talking, listening, and asking questions. Don’t forget that listening is one of the best ways to show that you care about another person, and you’re not simply waiting for her to stop talking.
8. Be confident
Easier said than done, right? Yet confidence is a major factor in crafting attraction, especially during a first date. To keep confident, choose a couple mantras to repeat to yourself throughout the date when you start to doubt yourself. The mantra, “People like me” or “I can handle any situation” will pull you out of that confidence-defeating spiral. And remember, she’s just as lucky to be on a date with you, as you are to be on a date with her.
9. Smile and make eye contact
We don’t give enough credit to body language in our day-to-day life, let alone in dating situations. Research shows that, whether we recognize it or not, around 70% of communication is nonverbal. Awkward silence isn’t awkward with a smile that says that you’re happy to be in her presence, and eye contact during conversation says, “I’m interested”. Pay attention to what message your face is conveying!
10. Watch her body language
Notice the way she is sitting, standing, and positioning herself towards you. These nonverbal, and often unintentional, cues can tell you a lot about how she’s feeling. If her arms are crossed and her shoulders pointed away from you at an angle, then she isn’t completely comfortable with the conversation or the situation and you need to switch things up. If she’s leaning into the conversation with her entire body pointed towards you – then she’s totally into you.
11. Be polite to service staff
She’s paying attention to how you speak to the waiter and whether or not you tip the valet. The way you treat others is not only a reflection of how you’ll treat her but also, how you’ll interact with her friends and family. Every person wants a partner with a kind soul who respects others, wouldn’t you agree?
12. Shake your nerves
It’s impossible to be your best self when you’re a ball of nerves. On a date, it’s easy to get stuck in your head, second-guessing your every move and transforming your formerly confident self into an insecure wreck. Anytime you find yourself tensing or closing up, just remind yourself to stay open – it’s that simple. Say to yourself, “I’m not going to close myself off; I’m going to stay open and experience this whole date as it comes”. Ride the wave.
13. Be Chivalrous
Show a bit a chivalry. Small gestures like opening the door for her or offering your hand as she’s walking down a set of stairs will have a huge impact on how she sees you and how protected she feels. As most men these days have seemingly forgotten how to be chivalrous, your small gestures will leave a lasting impression.
Dating isn’t life or death; it should be fun and rewarding! Otherwise, what’s the point? The more you can let your guard down and be yourself while focusing on having fun with the woman across from you, the more success you will have in the dating game.
Remember: worrying about impressing her or forcing a connection has the opposite effect. Treat her right, make her feel comfortable and steer clear of conversation killers and your love life is sure to take off in the right direction.
If you have any questions or comments about the dating tips above, or simply liked what you read, leave the writer feedback in the comments below!